To my second family...!

So, I have known my best friend for almost eight years. She has been a constant companion to me through the ups and downs, the good times and the bad times. We have shared a beautiful friendship thus far and I hope to keep her by my side for the rest of my time spent on this side of heaven.

This weekend we decided to make a quick trip to South Carolina to visit her family. On the way up, while driving through Atlanta we pick up (our) her big sister Sara. We had an awesome drive and got to spend a little much needed sister time in the car before arriving in Sumter.

When we arrived we were met with the usual Langer love that overflows so easily from this family. This is only one of the great qualities found in this home. Every time I come to South Carolina I find myself enjoying the trip more and more. I feel like I have found a second home here, a second family with the Langers. They have so generously opened their hearts and home up to me time and time again. I am not sure that I will ever be able to give the amount of love back to them that they have so effortlessly shown me. But I am sure that I will spend the rest of my life trying.

So here is to loving hearts and open homes...Thank you (second family) Langers for giving so much of yourselves to me. And Mr. Dad (I mean Dave), you are amazing. What a man of honor and faith. I strive to have your wisdom and compassion. I love you guys!

"I am"

So lately I have been struggling with “who I am” as a person…who I am on the day to day. I sat down and considered it for a while and these are some of the thoughts that I came up with. Enjoy.

I am a great friend.

I am a loving daughter.

I am a caring sister.

I am an overly interested aunt.

I am a child of the most high king.

I am proud of where I came from (for those of you who don’t know, that would be called the boondocks).

I am a great listener.

I am a strong woman.

I am a fairly good musician.

I am a Social Worker.

I am an extremely compassionate person (sometimes this gets me into trouble).

I am complex.

I am lonely sometimes.

I am striving to learn more about who I am in Christ.

I am in love with tattoos and piercings (no worries mom, maybe it’s just a phase).

I am so grateful for all of my friends.

I love being close to my family.

I am capable of filling my heart to the max with love for my closest friends and family.

I am willing to do anything I can to help anyone.

I am working daily on being ready to be on the mission field.

I am a home owner.

I am certain that my concern for others sometimes causes me to go into overload.

I am positive that my best friend has saved my life.

I am so grateful for the Langer family in general.

I am confident in who I am becoming.

I am learning that sitting down to read a book can be fun.

I am thankful to God for my second chance at life.

I am in love with the idea of being in love.

I am waiting anxiously for the day to come that I hold my future children in my arms.

I am proud of the children in the systems that make it out alive on the other side.

I am really happy with where my life is headed for once.

I am dependable.

I am loyal.

I am a college graduate!

I am still close to my old teacher from high school.

I am aware that one constant in my life has been my parents love for me.

I am unconditionally devoted to my friends.

I am sure that God has been my steady place to fall my whole life.

I am not good at saving money.

I am a good girlfriend, and will make a great wife someday.

I am looking forward to what will come in my life over the next year.

I am pretty good at reading people.

I am learning not to be judgmental (judge not, least ye be judged).

I am dying to buy a motorcycle.

I am confident that I have a great smile.

I am optimistic that life will only get better for me.

I am encouraged by the amount of young people in my church that love God.

I am absolutely sure that God created starbucks for my sheer pleasure alone.

I am funny.

I am happy with my red hair (although, I wish it were longer).

I am in love with my new church.

I am confident that I was one of the best softball players around in my day.

I am learning to be more giving.

I am damaged, but not broken.

I am more than a survivor, I am an overcomer.

Forgiveness is the key...

"What has happened to you is a small thing compared to what God will do through you."

For me, this life has been an on-going process of learning how to depend on God rather than myself to get me through the dark hours. I constantly have to remind myself that I am not alone in this journey and that there is a greater purpose behind the pain and hurt that I have walked through. I think that it may be human nature (or maybe my nature) to want to be strong and just get through without the aid of outside help. But you know, some days you have to just get over yourself and reach out. I found myself in such a day last week. I was frustrated all day and struggling to find peace in anything. A few weeks before I received a book, a small fifty page book, called Making Peace with your past, with yourself, and with others. I had tossed it to the side and thought “Hmmm, maybe someday I will need this”. Well, the day had come and I thought for sure, I would find my band-aid of peace in this little book. I thought it would be a soft place to fall in my pity party. Surly, it would make me feel validated in my frustrations and give me a little pick-me-up for the day. So, a little smug that I had found my way out of my irritations without going to God or calling a close friend, I sat down to read.

The first thing that I read was the above statement, "What has happened to you is a small thing compared to what God will do through you". I almost stopped right there, this was doing nothing for my self-loathing. However, I decided to continue, and as I read on I begin to realize a trend on mostly every page…the word “forgiveness”. It was everywhere. This book was suggesting that in order to find peace, you must first forgive. Now, this was not a new concept for me, but it has been something that I have struggled to wrap my mind around. I can move past problems, and usually even face them head on but to imply that freedom is in forgiveness…blah! I don’t want to hear it. Despite rethinking my approach on getting through the day I continued to read. Then, I don’t know what changed but suddenly I found myself hurrying to get to the next page. It started making sense somehow and this little book set in motion a wave of relief and….peace that flooded over me. Forgiveness was the key (it wasn’t something that I really wanted to hear, but hey, it was working). Forgiving others that had hurt me, forgiving friends and family that I felt had let me down, and (dare I say it) forgiving myself for past hurts---the things that I could not help, and the things that I could have. I found myself subconsciously talking to God about this new realization (something that I said I was not going to do…I was going to make it through this pity party all by myself). He began to show me so many places in my heart and life where I needed forgiveness and more importantly, where I needed to forgive. This was so real to me, and it made complete sense. Don’t get me wrong, I have a LONG road ahead before I master this concept, and an even longer road before me in my Christian walk! But, just realizing that forgiveness really does play such a big role in our day to day growth as people and who we are as Christians! Why didn’t I start this process years ago?! So, here I am, beginning my voyage of forgiveness, my journey to healing. Will you join me? Forgiveness is necessary for being whole, and it is living beyond survival. Let’s do this together!

All the cool kids have one...

So, after half of my family jumped on to the blog bandwagon I decided that I would join in. I mean, all the cool kids have one, right?! I always enjoy reading blogs posted by my friends and family...so, it stands to reason that they would enjoy reading mine (in theory anyway) as well. Besides, it gives me something to do at work--other than work--just kidding mom (sort of).

So, the first thing that I want to share is the reason behind the name of my blog--Consider the Lilies. It is a two-fold reason. First, I love lilies. They are one of the most beautiful flowers that I have ever come across, so unique. But even more exquisite than their beauty is the meaning behind the lily. They are a calling to love. The lily literally means, "I dare you to love me". That is how I feel when approaching a new friendship or relationship. I dare you to give me a chance in your life. I know I can, for sure, make it a better place. Secondly, I chose the name consider the lilies because I want to remind you (and myself) to slow down long enough to think about (consider) life around you. See the things that you might not otherwise notice. Some days it is only the small things that may get you through the day. I have learned that sometimes blessing are subtle.

So, here I am. Beginning my journey of blogging day to day. Simple thoughts and profound epiphanies alike. I hope you enjoy my thoughts on life. Please feel free to share yours with me as well!