Forgiveness is the key...

"What has happened to you is a small thing compared to what God will do through you."

For me, this life has been an on-going process of learning how to depend on God rather than myself to get me through the dark hours. I constantly have to remind myself that I am not alone in this journey and that there is a greater purpose behind the pain and hurt that I have walked through. I think that it may be human nature (or maybe my nature) to want to be strong and just get through without the aid of outside help. But you know, some days you have to just get over yourself and reach out. I found myself in such a day last week. I was frustrated all day and struggling to find peace in anything. A few weeks before I received a book, a small fifty page book, called Making Peace with your past, with yourself, and with others. I had tossed it to the side and thought “Hmmm, maybe someday I will need this”. Well, the day had come and I thought for sure, I would find my band-aid of peace in this little book. I thought it would be a soft place to fall in my pity party. Surly, it would make me feel validated in my frustrations and give me a little pick-me-up for the day. So, a little smug that I had found my way out of my irritations without going to God or calling a close friend, I sat down to read.

The first thing that I read was the above statement, "What has happened to you is a small thing compared to what God will do through you". I almost stopped right there, this was doing nothing for my self-loathing. However, I decided to continue, and as I read on I begin to realize a trend on mostly every page…the word “forgiveness”. It was everywhere. This book was suggesting that in order to find peace, you must first forgive. Now, this was not a new concept for me, but it has been something that I have struggled to wrap my mind around. I can move past problems, and usually even face them head on but to imply that freedom is in forgiveness…blah! I don’t want to hear it. Despite rethinking my approach on getting through the day I continued to read. Then, I don’t know what changed but suddenly I found myself hurrying to get to the next page. It started making sense somehow and this little book set in motion a wave of relief and….peace that flooded over me. Forgiveness was the key (it wasn’t something that I really wanted to hear, but hey, it was working). Forgiving others that had hurt me, forgiving friends and family that I felt had let me down, and (dare I say it) forgiving myself for past hurts---the things that I could not help, and the things that I could have. I found myself subconsciously talking to God about this new realization (something that I said I was not going to do…I was going to make it through this pity party all by myself). He began to show me so many places in my heart and life where I needed forgiveness and more importantly, where I needed to forgive. This was so real to me, and it made complete sense. Don’t get me wrong, I have a LONG road ahead before I master this concept, and an even longer road before me in my Christian walk! But, just realizing that forgiveness really does play such a big role in our day to day growth as people and who we are as Christians! Why didn’t I start this process years ago?! So, here I am, beginning my voyage of forgiveness, my journey to healing. Will you join me? Forgiveness is necessary for being whole, and it is living beyond survival. Let’s do this together!